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This powerful poem by Lidi de Waal puts into words the effect of grief and loss.

Loss is not only experienced when someone dies. Loss can be experienced after divorce, retirement, relationship breakups, retrenchment, abortion, miscarriage or any life circumstance that works out different than what one expected and impacts you in such a way that your daily functioning is impacted by your grief.

toe jy dood is
het die windpomp ophou water gooi
die korhaan het doodstil bly sit
sonder om kwerpend op te vlieg as ek verbyloop
en die skape het gehuil
en iemand het die prop uitgetrek
sodat die blousel van die hemel uitloop
tot daar net vaal oorbly
dit was september
die begin van winter vir my
die wilgers in die dam het nie groen lote uitgestoot nie
en die kolganse het nie in die sipres
kom broei nie
ek kon nie saam met alles sit en verhopeloos nie
want ek moes die lammers melk gee
en die skape troos
en ek het soos mens in die karoo maak
die bitter swaar tyd uitgewag
sodat die swaar minder bitter
en die bitter minder swaar kon raak
en na al die maande
gaan lê ek nog soms onder ń kriedoringbos
sodat my onvermoê
kan wegsypel in die karoogrond
sodat sy kriedoringblare hul lydsaamheid
oor my kan reën

As a grief counsellor I understand grief, and I know what is helpful and what is not when you try to process your grief.

The excellent movie Manchester by the Sea clearly shows how devastating grief can be and how the inability to process grief can totally impair a persons functioning and well being.

My hope is that, through this page I can offer some insight and help you to explore wise ways of dealing with your grief.

For me personally fire on the mountains in Cape Town, burning down the unique fynbos vegetation is a powerful metaphor for what happens when one experience loss and you try to process grief. My own biggest loss (breakup of my marraige on 2 March 2015) coincided with a raging fire starting on the mountains surrounding Noordhoek, Fish Hoek, and all the way to Hout Bay. For the past two years I have been taking photographs of the recovery of the mountain and the fynbos. I have seen some poweful similarities between this and my personal experience with loss and grief.

I want to encourage you to find someone to walk with you on your journey through grief. I offer a sixteen week grief support program. Email me at karin@whenlifehurts.co.za for more information about this program.

 

 
 
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