Working with grief is not a linear process

​I often see images and posts explaining the grieving process as if it is a step by step process.

This has not been my personal experience and it doesn't seem to be the experience of my clients.

I think this is one of the biggest challenges after a loss. Our own expectation (not even to mention other people's expectations), that it should be a linear process. A process with a clear beginning and end. A "to do list", with clear instructions so that we can get rid of the pain as efficiently and quickly as possible.

It is not...

You might think you "let go" and the next moment someone sends you a picture, or you hear a song, or smell a familiar smell and it puts you right back to square one...

BUT, as a wise friend once suggested, you enter square one with a little more skills, it is a little more familiar and if you are aware and conscious of the process you navigate through the pain a little better than the previous time.

​So yes, it is about letting it hurt and bleed (engaging with sadness and grief) and letting it heal, and letting it go over, and over and over again.

May you find companions on your healing journey who understand this.

I offer grief support online and in person. You are welcome to send an email to grobler.karin@gmail.com.