Educational Blog
Who am I and what am I here for - 2017-05-11

Who am I and what am I here for? I recently heard a story about a traveller reaching a city with a wall around it. As he reached the gate it was already dark and he heard a voice shouting, “Who are you and what are you here for?” The man was so struck by these words that he employed the man and gave him the job of asking him this que... more

Raising children without fear - The day the feeling friends were attacked - 2017-04-16

I was busy making a set of feeling friends for a client. The half completed feeling friends were lying behind the sewing machine on my dining room table. Just to give a little background; my friends are in the process of building a section onto their house for my daughter and I to stay in. Accommodation in Cape Town is extremely expensi... more

4 Steps to self-regulation/self-compassion - 2017-03-02

The ability to self regulate is a very important ingredient to emotional intelligence. It is the way to be resilient against difficulties in everyday life and a way to heal from the effects of trauma. Introception is essential - It is the ability to be aware of what is going on inside of yourself and taking care of  yourself - We want to ... more

4 Steps to self regulation - 2017-03-02

The ability to self regulate is a very important ingredient to emotional intelligence. It is the way to be resilient against difficulties in everyday life and a way to heal from the effects of trauma. Introception is essential - It is the ability to be aware of what is going on inside of yourself and taking care of  yourself - We want to ... more

Feeling friends help mother and daughter through a difficult transition - 2017-02-15

My 2 year old daughter went to crèche for the first time this month and she really struggled with letting go of me. She would start crying already at home and would be hysterical by the time I have to leave. A colleague gave me the Sad and Calm feeling friends to try out. I thought it would “obviously” not work as I thought she w... more

(1) Loss through divorce is like a raging destroys everything in it's path - 2017-01-31

On 2 March 2015 this was the sight I woke up to. The mountains surrounding Fish hoek were on fire and there was a strong wind chasing it and fueling it. I was not sleeping in my own bed that night because it was the night my marriage of 23 years finally ended. After a gut wrenching conversation I had to say, with tears in my eyes, "I can... more

My friend Anxiety - 2016-04-22

As a mother this little guy has often visited me over the years, I actually think he likes me a lot. If I think back he has also visited me as a child before I had to sing on a stage or play a piano exam. And the weird thing is, he always tells my body I need to go to the toilet. He also showed up when I was an adult and had to stand in front of gr... more

Why therapy and medication alone will not help children with ADHD - 2016-04-08

   Early self-control intervention is necessary if you want your child to have a chance at leading a successful life regardless of ADHD. We need to enhance our own self-control skills in order to help kids develop theirs.   As a professional who has worked with numerous children with behavioural problems in schools, ... more

6 steps to creating a healthy, happy family from day one - 2016-03-22

1. Learn to communicate well with each other as parents 2. Agree on the values you want to embrace as a couple for your family 3. Understand that your responsibility as parent would be to teach children the following life skills they need to be successful in life. How to handle emotional upset How to handle conflict How to make a ch... more

Setting boundaries in a loving but assertive, non-aggressive way - 2016-03-09

Many parents struggle to understand how to set a boundary without using punishment. To be honest this is the most difficult skill to master on the journey with loving discipline. We are so used to try to use force or punishment / reward to try to force children to behave. If we use punishment or reward we are teaching the child to be mo... more

How to communicate with an older child (teenager) about misbehaviour - 2016-02-24

You will only be able to handle a conversation like this if you can remain calm and access your higher brain (pre-frontal lobes). Remember not to take the misbehaviour personally. Make sure you take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth before you begin the conversation. Tell the child you are going to explain why th... more

What makes a Loving discipline School different? - 2016-02-17

Loving discipline School community Traditional discipline system Parents, teachers and children work towards a common goal to create a safe environment for everyone. Parents and teachers might be on opposing sides and disagree about the way to develop a child. The school i... more

My English teacher – A cobbler of souls - 2016-02-14

Today something amazing happened. I connected with my matric English teacher Miss Zelda (Zella) Nieuwoudt on Facebook. It all started with a Facebook group of old learners from our High School. Someone posted a photo of the staff and asked whom some of our favourite teachers was. A number of people, including me, mentioned Miss Nieuwoudt and the... more

School age children – Industry vs Inferiority - 2016-01-14

Primary school years are in many aspects the make or break years in terms of a child’s self-esteem. This is the age Erikson calls the industry vs inferiority years. The time for learning the skills needed for adulthood. When the world was still a place where children learnt their primary life skills and trade from their parents, this w... more

Pre-schoolers – Age 3-5 the age for power and identity - 2016-01-13

This is the time for discovering their bodies, their gender, their world, and themselves. They are more and more realising that they are separate from other people. They discover where they fit into groups and start experimenting with socially appropriate behaviour and they try to find out where they have power and where not. And the only way to do... more

What’s normal at the age of two+, the stage often called the terrible two’s - 2016-01-11

If we could choose whether to have kids completely compliant but forever dependent upon us or kids that grows into independent human beings I am sure we would choose the second. In order for children to become independent they have to develop gradually and test boundaries to get an idea of what is safe and what not. They learn about cause and ef... more

Parenting challenges in the first year of a child’s life - 2016-01-10

Knowledge is power. Often as parents we are very aware of the developmental milestones our children should achieve as far as physical development goes, but I find parents are not as aware of their children’s brain and psycho-social developmental development stages. Being aware and equipped to handle your child with the appropriate discipline ... more

Introducing myself and the work I am passionate about - 2016-01-06

I am a discipline coach and narrative counselor, using play therapy skills.  After working with children with behaviour problems in schools and private practice for a number of years I have come to the conclusion that the old African saying “it takes a village to raise a child” is true. Behaviour problems can be very stubborn an... more

I thought I knew how to be a parent until my second child arrived… - 2015-12-07

I often hear this comment. I believe the reason for this is that the parents suddenly have two children, who are probably in two different developmental stages. The whole family are experiencing adjustment, of which the oldest child’s is the most intense. They have to navigate sharing the most important people in their life with another for t... more

Exciting new program for Pre Schools or Day Cares - 2015-11-30

We use four brain smart principles as the foundation for the program. Movement is extremely important for brain development… therefore our program involves a lot of intentional movement. The brain is rigged for survival, it is looking for patterns… therefore we create positive patterns in the brain by teaching them about kin... more

What I learn about parenting from observing my Yorkies….. - 2015-11-26

The other day I reluctantly took the two of them to the beach. As we were getting out of the car, they were straining on their leashes to get me to walk faster. At first I tried to manage both of them on their leashes, but we got tangled up very quickly, so I untied them so that they could run free. This was a bold step for me, because I am a r... more

Our role as parents… to keep them safe - 2015-11-20

I am often asked about sleep and bedtime issues. Parents tend to measure their success or failure as parents by the amount of sleep they get at night. Or at least this is what it seems like to me. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when I was a young mother. What would I have said to myself? I would have said “Relax, all o... more

How equestrian life coach sessions taught me about life and parenting - 2015-11-18

I was privileged to have the opportunity to have 3 equestrian life coach sessions lead by my friend Susan Viljoen (Kaleidoscope life coaching). One of my big challenges and struggles in life has always been assertive, non-aggressive communication. I am introverted and have a tendency to overthink things and it is very important for me not to ma... more

Why I started using a paper diary again - 2015-11-17

As a parent coach and someone teaching other parents I constantly try to check myself to see if I am practicing what I am preaching. I recently did a, 31 days of mindfulness program and one of the speakers talked about addiction. How does addiction happen? Addiction happens very quickly because our brains produce a feel good hormone when we expe... more

A family’s journey with Loving Discipline 1 - 2015-11-12

Angie (name changed to protect the family’s privacy) and her husband approached me almost two years ago to assist with a discipline and parenting strategy for their family of 5. They struggled because they wanted to use different strategies and it caused conflict between them. Both of them attended the training and are very committed to imple... more

Why is parent coaching a good idea? - 2015-11-10

A Child's brain development is influenced by the way the child is disciplined and cared for. As parents we are not always informed about the best way to handle situations with regards to the disciplining of our children and this can impact brain and behaviour for the rest of the child's life. Parenting is the role that we often find ours... more

What is parent coaching? - 2015-11-10

It is a pro-active solution for people who want to understand their children's behaviour and developmental phases and make sure that they maintain a positive relationship with their children for the rest of their lives. OR It is a re-active solution for parents struggling to understand a child with a difficult temperament and challenging ... more

Why is attachment such a huge issue? - 2015-11-03

A baby needs to have his primary needs met by his primary caregiver. This is not only the need to be fed, but also the need to be touched and feel safe. The safer the child feels the more balanced the child’s social, emotional and cognitive development will be. The baby’s early experiences stimulates brain development and the formation... more

How to handle it when you suspect your child is being bullied at school - 2015-09-07

Bullying is a big problem in schools, and even in the corporate life. It is important for us as parents to equip our children with the necessary skills against bullying. Children must learn in their homes to be able to use their “big voices”. The “Big voice” is the ability to use assertive language to communicate boundari... more

Don't make me - 2015-08-08

This line is often used in parenting, but what does this reveal about the person making the statement? Do we really believe someone can make us do anything that we don't want to do? Powerful people choose what they do and what they don't. The key to changing from "don't make me" threats to "I am going to" statemen... more

Children are not remote control cars.... - 2015-08-07

Everyday life is a serious of choices. We choose what time we will get up, what we will wear, if we are in a good mood or a bad mood, if we are going to work or not, if we are going to take a lunch break, if we are going to watch television when we get home or take our dog for a walk. Sometimes we are under the impression that we can control the... more

Wat is liefdevolle dissipline? - 2015-08-01

Liefdevolle dissipline poog om ten alle koste die verhouding tussen ouer en kind te behou. Elke dissipline situasie word gesien as ‘n onderrigeleentheid en nie ‘n geleentheid om te straf nie. Tog word goeie struktuur en grense ingestel sodat die kind presies weet wat van hom verwag word. Goeie roetine en riglyne verseker dat die kind ve... more

What kids don't need - 2015-07-23

In an era of consumerism it seems to me that we as parents lose focus.....We become like joy in the movie Inside Out....We try everything in our power to make our children happy....We buy fancy birthday parties....take them to every possible extracurricular activity.....give them all the extra classes they need..... BUT what do they... more

Omgedop…….oftewel “Inside out” - 2015-07-20

Die nuutste animasie film van PIXAR het so pas in Suid Afrika begin draai. Hierdie film gee vir ons ‘n kykie in die emosiewêreld van die hoofkarakter Riley. Sy is ‘n gelukkige dogtertjie totdat haar lewe op sy kop gedraai word wanneer haar ouers verhuis. Riley se emosies, onder leiding van Vreugde, probeer haar deur hierdie lewens... more

Tantrums and emotional upset - 2015-06-27

What Causes a Tantrum?   Hunger or Tiredness When a child is hungry, hyped up on sugar, thirsty, or tired the chances of a tantrum (emotional meltdown) increases significantly. Absence of an attachment figure For children to feel safe they need at least one person in their environment that they can have a secure trust relati... more

ADHD in Children - 2015-06-20

AHDH is a controversial topic that causes a lot of anxiety in parents and children. I personally believe that ADHD is real and that it has an impact on a family and on the individual who’s brain operates in this way. I can only share my personal story with ADHD. My son is a loving, soft-hearted guy that easily connects with people and i... more