Anger's job is to alert us that we are trying to protect something. Unfortunately we are not taught how to question ourselves, stay calm and channel our anger in productive ways.
Often anger is trying to protect our "value".
Something happens and we feel disrespected, as if our opinion has no value, and immediately anger shows up to alert us of this thought...
So how do we deal with it?
Step 1 - remove yourself from the situation if possible.
Step 2- self compassion. You were probably triggered because of a wound from earlier in life...allow yourself to acknowledge the wound and how much it hurts.
Step 3 - figure out what you are trying to protect (it is often not the obvious thing, it is often something about your identity and self worth and value.)
Step 4 - If it is your self-worth you are trying to protect, ask yourself if your worth is determined by the situation?? The answer is often "no"...
Step 5 - decide how you can respond in order to set a boundary and maintain your self-respect...
Step 6 - be kind to yourself, life is difficult...you will learn and grow...
I am a Grief Counselor & Self-care coach.